Thoughts don’t have to become things……

Ok, that heading maybe misleading but it leads me into a pet hate of mine. This surfaced today but I have seen it many times before. It is a variation of the sinister chain letters that used to circulate in hard copy and have now transferred to the internet.

Essentially the email runs something like – do not delete this email/poem/story. Unless you forward it to at least 20 of your closest friends your husband/wife/kids/family/all that you love will meet a grisly death in the next 7 days just see what happened to people who deleted it. However if you do forward it, you will get an amazing piece of good luck etc. etc. You know the form.

Now, I hate these because they play on people’s fears and it’s completely bogus. However that isn’t the point of this post. It set me thinking that these things work for a couple of reasons. Firstly people think they may as well forward it “just in case”.

Secondly though, there is the recognition factor. “You will have amazing luck” – if you go looking for examples of that in your daily life I bet you will find it. You don’t need to be threatened by such a malevolent email to do that. Try it – if you believe it you will attract it to you and it is amazing what you will see.

The problem with this is the flip side. If you go looking for doom and disaster then guess what? You will find that too. However, this is a choice. You can chose what to look for and your life can be affected either way. Note that this is absolutely NOT a result of a sinister email but if we allow that to be the start it can have that effect. It reminds me of an example I heard many years ago in a comedy show. Apologies if I misquote:

“Walking under ladders is definitely unlucky”

“why do you say that?”

“My Dad walked under a ladder once, 50 years later, all his teeth had fallen out”

Depends how you chose to view things!

It’s TV time

Let’s face it, the TV is a dominant force in our lives. I am a rather partial to watching it myself, particularly when it is baseball season. So, I am absolutely not knocking TV, it can be very educational and certainly helps us to wind down at the end of the day.

However it can be a time stealer. There are a lot of us today who struggle for time. One of the most common responses I hear (and give!) to the question “How are you?” is: “Very busy”. When I talk about balance the issue of time always comes up - “I would love to do that but it is a case of finding the time”

I would like to tentatively, and with no judgement, suggest we all look at our TV time in connection to our values and our goals. If you particularly value personal growth, or connecting with people, how can you incorporate the TV into those values? Possibly there is something else that you could be doing with that time that gets you closer?

As I say, this is not an axe that I particularly want to grind, nor is it an evangelical call to ditch the TV (as I say, I like it myself), but I would like to suggest it is an area where you might be able to find that elusive 30 minutes that would really help you connect with what’s most important.

 

Mind your language

Well, as one of the facets of life I particularly value is personal growth, it is always a positive thing when it happens – especially unexpectedly.

Today I was running an Inflection Point Workshop and I mentioned that the phrase: “It is what it is” is one I hear often and dislike. Why? Well because in my mind it has always been synonymous with a surrender of accountability. In other words, “it is this way and there really isn’t anything to be done about it, so why try?”

To me that has always meant an abdication of responsibility to challenge and seek alternative, perhaps better ways. Sometimes it is a phrase used to justify inappropriate behavior. “Oh, he’s just like that – it is what it is”.

So where’s the learning? One of my fellow work shop members called me on it and described a different interpretation, one that I hadn’t previously thought about. For her, that phrase means: “This is the situation, no point in over-analysing it, what do we do to move forward?”

So, whenever we hear the exact same phrase we will have a different interpretation. The learning for me was this: Think about possible interpretations of a phrase before jumping to a conclusion about intent. Especially if your thoughts lead to action or words that might be inappropriate.

Are there any phrases/language that triggers a similar reaction for you? Is it possible there is another way to look at it? If so, perhaps that was the intended message.