Balance at Christmas

We have nearly arrived at Christmas when levels of stress can typically rise despite the holiday season. Personally I am travelling this year and that is often an exciting adventure – usually in a good way but also sometimes causing aggravation.

Add to that the stress that sometimes comes with spending extended time with family (however mush we enjoy the interaction) and the holiday season can leave us a little bit wrung out. It is also a time when we contemplate the credit card bills that await us in the New Year.

So how do we adjust to the change in schedule and ensure that we stay balanced over the holidays? Personally I find it useful to decide to dedicate time over the holiday to what I especially enjoy doing and what balances me during the “non-Christmas” times of the year. Reading for example. It helps me to be able to schedule reading time when I can retreat from all the other stuff that is going on. It doesn’t have to be long, but it helps me to decompress. What is it that helps you do that? Make time for it consciously and ensure that you do it.

Also it helps to be aware of what it is that knocks you off balance and BE SPECIFIC. In other words if there are social situations that annoy you, what is it about that you dislike? You can then prepare your approach to this situation should it come about. How will you react? What will you do to diffuse the situation and/or put up with it until you can get to your re-balancer? Being intentional about this will help you stay in control and exercise choice.

Recognizing that the holiday season is relatively short may help but often it doesn’t seem that way at the time! I suggest that you plan at least some of your time to do things that you want to and ensure that other people are aware that you want to do that at some stage. This prevents being swept along with the tide and keeps you in control. If this is stated early everyone else is aware and more likely to include that activity, or be understanding of your requirements. When you get your needs met it is easier to give time to do things you may not want to.

Merry Christmas!

Is it hopeless….?

Don’t worry, I have not given up! When I was just out of college there were many opportunities in my first job but I was very green. I had a great boss who knocked some of the rough edges off me. One of his particular bugbears was the word “hope” – particularly as it related to the work I was doing.

I was a project manager and I used to put some plans in place and fairly often hope that they would come to fruition. There is a great sales book entitled “Hope is not a Strategy” and the error of hoping something would get done was brought home to me forcibly on a number of occasions. Hoping for the best often leads to disappointment.

How does this apply to work-life balance? Well, hoping that something will get better generally means you are relying on something outside your control to happen. Often you are actually relying on someone else. Do you want to do that with the important things in your life? I thought not. I am not saying you can’t hope for better things but you need to listen to that inner (or real) voice when it says hope. Are you turning that hope into a concrete action plan?

Ultimately you are responsible for your life and when you have hopes for something to happen you need to turn those hopes into a plan and first of all a goal. Imagine what it will be like when you have achieved your hope and then build a plan to get there. This is not easy of course, few things that are really worthwhile are easy. The first step (as always) is awareness. Listen to how often you here someone say “hope” and see if you can determine how much effort is going into planning to make that a reality. Apply the same thing to you as yourself as you hear yourself saying it.

Take a look at your hopes and dreams and ask yourself “what is my responsibility here?” and “What can I do to take control – what can I actually control here?”