Coaching and other forms of self development

When I tell people I am a life coach the most common response is “What’s that?”. This is a great opportunity for me to explain what I do and I must avoid my tendency to launch into a long monologue about my chosen profession. So during this week I have spent some time revisiting my response to the simple question about what is it that you do.

I form a coaching relationship with people who want to improve some facet of their lives. It may be large (e.g. career change) or small (e.g. tidying their home office). Coaching helps them to realise what it is they want to change and build a plan to achieve that.

Another common question is then, “Are you a psychologist/therapist?” The answer to this is no (although I studied psychology at college) although there are similarities. The key difference as I see it is coaching accepts where you are now, and builds a plan to get you to where you want to be. We do not dwell on the causes of the current situation/feeling/belief system, but rather seek to change it if it isn’t supporting you.

Speaking personally, there are many things I receive coaching on every day and it is always useful to have my awareness of particular issues raised and realise I have the choice to change. One of my previous posts commented on the mindset of a pitcher on my favorite baseball team (who are heading for the worst record in the majors – again) and another headline grabbed my attention from a football payer today:

“When everything’s going good, something bad always happens”

This certainly doesn’t sound like a belief that will help, and it is great to hear the follow up which is: “….I’ve got to change it all”. This sounds like a good example of recognising a limiting belief and accepting responsibility for changing it, whatever the past causes of the perceived problem.

Awareness, Responsibility and Choice

Life coaching is concerned with change. At its core it is concerned with defining where you want to be and figuring out ways of achieving that. The first stage is becoming aware of your current situation. This sounds obvious but it isn’t always that easy.

For example you may feel unsatisfied with your something in your life, but not be able to put a finger on what that is. This is the first stage of awareness but is not likely to stimulate you to look for change. Why?, because a vague feeling isn’t easy to change unless you raise the awareness level – it may be that you feel you are not happy in your job. This can be further refined and may lead you to a view that you are not progressing as you would like, or maybe that you are not even in a career that you really love.

Coaching helps you raise this level of awareness. It may be a big issue like that illustrated above, or something much smaller (a article that you have been putting off writing maybe). Once awareness is raised, you need to take responsibility for the situation if change is to be made. Using the example above, your career is your responsibility, and nobody is going to change it for you.

Responsibility is not always taken in today’s society, where there typically has to be someone to blame. I argue that unless you take responsibility for your situation regardless of how you got there, then you will not be motivated to change. Coaching allows you to come to an understanding of how you can drive the changes, even if others are involved – ultimately therefore you have a strong feeling of ownership, and this leads you to…..

Choice. Once you are aware of your situation, and accept responsibility for changing it, you can decide on the appropriate course of action. Of course you may decide to do nothing, but that is a conscious choice too. Coaching will take you through your choices, again raising your awareness of the choices you have. You then feel real ownership of the choices you make and are much more likely to succeed as a result.