What really matters most?

Balance may seem to be an impossible dream. We are all pulled in different directions by the demands of our families, our careers and what we want for ourselves. It is natural to make sacrifices in certain areas to honor what you truly believe to be important.

These core things we hold are Values and they are key to understanding why we feel uncomfortable or stressed in a situation. What we value determines what life means to us and what actions we take, and they are very personal. Where do they come from? They are linked to our identity and what we believe and there is strong evidence that they develop early. Unconscious values may come from our parents, backgrounds, teachers and peers and are developed and strengthened as we age.

Core values are those that relevent to all aspects of life and when dishonored can be a significant source of stress. For example when we understand our core values (e.g. via coaching) we can think about what matters most to us. Often this is “family” which in terms of values may include: connectedness, bonding, being together, fun.

If work demands more and more time these values may be neglected and stress the result. Coaching can assist in identifying these values and devising time/self management techniques to ensure that time is devoted to these areas (family time, self development activities etc.) Alternatively, coaching can assist in the decision making process about whether a job change is appropriate to bring balance.

Understanding core values helps us to appreciate why we find certain actions, behaviours and situations stressful. However most of us go through life unaware of how values affect us. Once this is clear, we are in a much better place to evaluate options and choose courses of action that help us live in balance with our values.